Translator – SNL

Translator – SNL


>>>GOOD MORNING.
INOTECH RESEARCH IS PLEASED TO WELCOME YOU, TO WHAT WE BELIEVE,
WILL BE A VERY EXCITING PRESENTATION.
>>WELL, IT BETTER BE. THIS PROJECT IS, WHAT,
$18 MILLION OVER BUDGET?>>UH, YES, BUT THANKS TO YOUR
PATIENCE AS WELL AS YOUR INVESTMENT WE ARE THRILLED TO
ANNOUNCE NEAR COMPLETION ON THE X5 PROTOTYPE.
>>NEAR COMPLETION? SO WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE GOING TO
SEE HERE?>>WELL, IF ALL GOES WELL,
EXACTLY WHAT WE PROMISED. USING EEG CENSORING AND BRAIN
INTERFACING WE WILL DO WHAT HAS NEVER BEEN DONE, SCAN THE
HOUSEHOLD PET’S MIND TO TRANSLATE HIS THOUGHTS INTO
WORDS. NOW THE SUBJECT TODAY WILL BE MY
OWN DOG, MAX. LOOKS LIKE HE’S READY.
>>LET’S SEE IT.>>MAX, HERE WE GO.
>>EEG SIGNAL 100%. VITALS ARE NORMAL.
OKAY. WE HAVE MIND LINK.
>>OKAY, MAX. THIS IS IT.
MAX, SPEAK. [ GIBBERISH ]
>>BRILLIANT.>>HANG ON.
IT WORKED. I SWEAR, JUST BOOST THE SIGNAL,
MAX, SPEAK.>>WOOF, WOOF.
HI. I’M MAX.
IT’S ME, MAX.>>OH, MY GOD.
>>I LIKE TO PLAY BALL. I LIKE PURPLE BIRD IN THE
WINDOW.>>LOOK, I THINK HE MEANS THE
PIGEON. HE’S NEVER SPOKEN THIS MUCH
BEFORE. MAX, WHAT ELSE DO YOU LIKE?
>>I LIKE PARK, AND LEASH, AND I LIKE TRUMP.
HE’S MY MAN.>>WAIT.
WHAT?>>WHAT DID YOUR DOG JUST SAY?
>>IT MUST BE A TRANSLATION ERROR, SOME KIND OF GLITCH.
>>THERE’S NO GLITCH. DONALD TRUMP IS OUR PRESIDENT.
HE CARRIED THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE FAIR AND SQUARE.
>>THIS CAN’T BE RIGHT. DID YOU KNOW YOUR DOG LIKES
TRUMP?>>HE DOESN’T.
>>I ABSOLUTELY DO. I KNOW TRUMP HAS ISSUES, BUT ONE
BIG CHANGE IS BETTER THAN BUSINESS AS USUAL.
>>OKAY, MAX, NO. YOU DROP THAT RIGHT NOW.
YOU DON’T LIKE TRUMP.>>THE DOW IS UP 2700 POINTS
SINCE HE WAS ELECTED. WHAT’S NOT TO LIKE?
>>YOUR DOG IS A MONSTER.>>NO, HE’S NOT.
JUST, LET ME TALK TO HIM. MAX, I’M SORRY.
BUT YOU’RE JUST A DOG. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE
TALKING ABOUT.>>EXCUSE ME, HELEN, BUT YES, I
DO. STINKING HELMET.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU PUT THIS ON ME.
IT’S JUST THAT CONDESCENDING ATTITUDE THAT MADE PEOPLE WANT
TO VOTE FOR TRUMP IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>>GET OVER HERE, MAX. THIS IS CRAZY.
OKAY? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE SAYING
THIS. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST
FRIEND.>>AND AS YOUR FRIEND, I DON’T
WANT TO SEE YOUR TAX DOLLARS GOING TO HEALTH CARE FOR
ILLEGALS.>>YOUR DOG IS A JACK ASS.
>>NO! MAX, LISTEN, TRUMP IS BAD.
TRUMP IS A RACIST.>>WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BLACK
PEOPLE? YOU NEVER BROUGHT ONE INTO OUR
HOUSE ONCE.>>REALLY?
>>NO. MAX, THAT IS NOT TRUE.
>>IT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE, HELEN. PLUS, TRUMP IS THE ONLY ONE THAT
ISN’T OWNED BY WALL STREET.>>WHAT?
OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU INSANE?
MY HEAD’S GOING TO EXPLODE. WHAT ABOUT HIS RECORD ON WOMEN’S
RIGHTS? DON’T YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A
CHOICE OVER OUR OWN BODY?>>YOU DIDN’T AFFORD ME A CHOICE
WHEN YOU CUT OFF MY BALLS.>>MAX!
YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING. YOU’RE JUST A DOG.
YOU’RE JUST A DOG AND YOU PEE ON THE FLOOR.
>>AND YOU MASTURBATE OUT OF BOREDOM.
WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT
RIGHT NOW?>>WHOA.
>>MAX!>>YOU JUST ASSUME THAT BECAUSE
I’M A TRUMP SUPPORTER THAT I’M A XENOPHOBIC RACIST.
>>NO, I DON’T. YOUR BEST FRIEND AT THE DOG PARK
IS A CHIHUAHUA.>>SO?
>>THAT MEANS HE’S FROM MEXICO AND TRUMP WANTS TO KICK THEM OUT
OF THE COUNTRY.>>IF AQUITO WAS BORN HERE, HE
HAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. THIS IS A NATION OF LAWS.
>>ALL RIGHT, STAND BACK. I’M GONNA SHOOT HIM WITH THE GUN
I CARRY.>>DON’T MISS.
>>OH, FOR GOD’S SAKES. I CAN’T HAVE A CONVERSATION
WITHOUT YOU LIBERAL SNOWFLAKES —
>>ENOUGH! ENOUGH, ENOUGH.
SHUT UP, MAX. JUST SHUT YOUR DUMB MOUTH.
>>UH, THAT CONCLUDES THE DEMONSTRATION.
OBVIOUSLY WE HAVE SOME MORE WORK TO DO.
>>OBVIOUSLY.>>YEAH.
THIS WHOLE PROJECT IS ON THIN ICE.
THAT DOG IS A PROBLEM.>>IT’S OKAY, MAX.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. WE JUST HAVE TO LEARN TO RESPECT
EACH OTHER’S POINT OF VIEW, I GUESS.
NOW, LET’S GO FOR A WALK. OKAY?
PUT YOUR HAT ON. IT’S COLD.
THERE YOU GO. IT’S A GOOD THING YOU’RE CUTE,
YOU LITTLE DUMBASS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

100 thoughts on “Translator – SNL

  1. I love skit comedy but SNL hasn't been good in over 10 years. Politics or political correctness are typically the undertone. Thank you for ruining comedy and pushing your views as if anything different is now what you mock and call "funny".

  2. Yeah.. NOBODY cares about progressive results or any nowadays. All that matters is your political view ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. this is some weird political messaging that trump supporters should be shot and are dogs… I mean shit I hate trump but im not into killing conservatives/ people I disagree with….
    liberals are lowkey as violent as Neo cons

  4. When the dog said "you masturbate out of boredom", I think they could have done more with it: "…..and you masturbate to a picture of Obama." or: "So. You masturbate to Justin Bieber videos." or "and you masturbate to MSNBC."

  5. ?*00212645752301* *Whatapps*?
    ูˆุฌู€ุฏุช?โ€โ™‚๏ธ ูƒู€ู€ุซู€ู€ูŠู€ู€ุฑ ู…ู€ู€ู† ุงู„ู€ุชู€ุนู€ุงู„ู€ูŠู€ู‚ ุนู€ู† ุชู€ูƒู€ุจู€ูŠู€ุฑ ุงู„ู€ู€ู‚ู€ู€ุถู€ู€ูŠู€ู€ุจ ูˆุถู€ุนู€ู ุงู„ุงู†ู€ู€ุชู€ู€ุตู€ู€ุงุจ ูˆุณู€ุฑุนู€ุฉ ุงู„ู€ู‚ู€ุฐู
    ูˆุฃุจู€ุบู€ู‰ ุฃุจู€ู€ุดู€ู€ุฑูƒู€ู€ู…? ุฃู†ู€ูŠ ุญู€ู€ุตู€ู€ู„ู€ู€ุช ุนู€ู€ู„ู€ู€ู‰ ู…ู€ุนู€ู„ู€ูˆู…ู€ุงุช ู…ู€ูู€ูŠู€ุฏุฉโœ… ู‡ู€ู€ุชู€ู€ู†ู€ู€ูู€ู€ุนู€ู€ูƒู€ู€ู… ูƒู€ู€ุซู€ู€ูŠู€ู€ุฑ ูˆู…ู€ุฌู€ุฑุจู€ู‡ู€ุง ูƒู€ู…ู€ุงู† ูˆู†ู€ู€ูู€ู€ุนู€ู€ุชู€ู€ู†ู€ู€ูŠ??
    ุชู€ูˆุงุตู€ู„ ู…ู€ุนู€ูŠ?โ€โ™‚๏ธ ูˆุฃู†ู€ู€ุง ุจู€ุดู€ุฑุญ ู„ู€ู€ูƒ ุณู€ุฑ ุงู„ู€ู€ูˆุตู€ู€ูู€ู€ุฉ ุงู„ู€ูˆุงุชู€ุณู€ุงุจ *00212.645.75.23.01*?

  6. That dog is literally smarter than every democrat Iโ€™m just upset that he couldnโ€™t finish the sentence with โ€œliberal snowflakesโ€

  7. "dont you want me to have a choice over my own body?"
    "you didnt afford me a choice when you cut off my balls."

    that line is definitely one for the SNL hall of fame!

  8. Spot-on.
    "We just need to respect each other's point of view."
    Proceeds to do the exact opposite – just like liberals.
    "We just need to respect each other's point of view" means, "You need to learn to see things my way."

  9. Typical of any liberal. A liberal will slobber: "Trump wants Mexicans out of the country"! A sane person says: "ONLY ILLEGALS"! Said liberal responds: " You must be a (burph) racist". No, ya dumb liberal, it's called ENFORCING THE LAW!

  10. ะฃั…, ั‚ั‹ ะฐ ัƒ ะ’ะฐั ะดะตะนัั‚ะฒะธั‚ะตะปัŒะฝะพ ะฟั€ะพะฟะฐะณะฐะฝะดั‹ ะฝะตั‚)))

  11. They tortured a poor animal and they they force their beliefs on the dog because max supports Trump, wait that happens in real life too.

  12. If I say that dog is right I'll get hate. If I say that dog is wrong I'll get hate. I will say two things. One: This sums up both parties very well. Two: I don't care if that b-word is blue ? or red ?, anyone who threatens to shoot a dog should be beaten the crap out of. ?

  13. Amazing how SNL literally pointed out how Trump was helping our nation yet still called people who support him a jackass. Ignorance is bliss.

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