John Leguizamo: What’s A Caucus Anyway?


HEY, EVERYBODY! WELCOME BACK! HEY, JON!>>Jon: HELLO!>>Stephen: LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST IS AN EMMY AND TONY WINNER YOU KNOW
FROM “BLOODLINE,” “WHEN THEY SEE US,” AND HIS ONE-MAN SHOW,
“LATIN HISTORY FOR MORONS.” PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO “THE LATE
SHOW,” JOHN LEGUIZAMO. ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )
>>YEAH, YEAH. NICE TO BE HERE.>>Stephen: ALWAYS NICE TO SEE
YOU. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. GOOD TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH OLD
JOHNNY LEGEZ.>>LIVE!>>Stephen: WATCH IT.>>THEY WARNED ME, “DON’T SAY
THIS. DON’T SAY THAT.”>>Stephen: THEY’RE OVER THERE
WITH A DART AND WILL GET YOU RIGHT IN THE NECK. YOU HAVE DONE A LOT OF BROADWAY,
STANDUP. HAS IT EVER GONE SIDEWAYS ON
YOU?>>ON THE BALCONY, ONCE SOMEBODY
THREW UP ON THE LADY’S MINK COAT —
>>Stephen: SOMEBODY IN THE BALL CONNIE OF YOUR THEATER–
>>THREW UP ON THE LADY IN A MINK COAT, AND I HAD TO DRY
CLEAN HER COAT.>>Stephen: WHY DID YOU HAVE
TO DRY CLEAN THE COAT?>>IT WAS MY THEATER AND MY SHOW
AND I WAS ON STAGE. AND I WAS ON STAGE AND I COULD
HEAR PEOPLE HAVING SEX IN THE BATHROOM AND THEY LEFT THE
PANTIES. FROM NOW ON I’M GOING TO HAVE TO
HAVE, “PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR PHONES, I’M NOT PAYING FOR YOUR
MINK COAT TO BE CLEANED, AND TAKE YOUR PANTIES IF YOU HAVE
SEX IN THE BATHROOM.”>>Stephen: WAS THIS
DISTRACTING TO THE ODD YEENS JUDGE IT WAS DISTRACTING TO ME. THEY DIDN’T CARE. I’M LIKE, “WHO IS HAVING MORE
FUN THAN I AM?”>>Stephen: THAT LEADS TO MY
QUESTION BECAUSE WHEN YOU WERE HERE IN JULY, YOU SAID AT THE
TIME, THAT YOUR ANGER AT SEEING THE WAY TRUMP WAS BEHAVING WAS
GIVING YOU– YOU CALLED IT “TRUMP RAGE MADE YOU HORNY.”>>YEAH, IT DID. I HAD ALL THIS EXTRA ENERGY. AND I WAS, YOU KNOW… MY POOR
WIFE. AND–
>>Stephen: YOU SAID, “YOU WANTED TO PROCREATE AND BUILD A
LATINO ARMY.”>>YEAH. I’M TIRED NOW.>>Stephen: I’M QUOTING.( APPLAUSE )
MR. LEGUIZAMO– I REMIND YOU YOU’RE UNDER OATH. WHAT IS THE RAGE OF YOUR HORNY
RAGE AFTER THE SPEECH.>>THERE WAS A LOT OF PIMP TENSE
UP THERE. SO I FELT VERY– YEAH, NOT SO
MUCH. THE RAGE IS GONE. NOW I’M MORE CREATIVE. SEX TAKES AWAY YOUR CREATIVITY
ANYWAY.>>Stephen: IT DOES?>>YEAH, LIKE BOXERS, THEY DON’T
HAVE SEX. THEY HAVE TO ABSTAIN SO THEY CAN
BEAT THUR OPPONENT S.>>Stephen: ARE YOU SAYING
BOXING IS CREATIVITY? I KNOW IT’S A SWEET SCIENCE, BUT
NOT CREATIVITY.>>IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF ORGASMS,
YOU DON’T HAVE AS MANY BOOKS OR SHOW S.>>Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY
IDEA PICASSO GOT.>>I CAN CHECK THAT ON GOOGLE.>>Stephen: YOU CAN LOOK AT
HIS PAINTINGS!>>YEAH, YEAH.>>Stephen: THE WOMEN ALL
HAD, LIKE, FIVE BREASTS.>>DON’T YOU FEEL WHEN YOU HAVE
A LOT OF GREAT SEX YOU’RE NOT AS CREATIVE.>>Stephen: UHM…>>I KNOW HOW I FEEL. LIKE, WHEN I’M PENT UP, I CREATE
A LOT MORE.>>Stephen: WE’RE LIVE. WE’RE LIVE RIGHT NOW, AND I’M–
>>SORRY, WE’RE OFF TOPIC.>>Stephen: WE’RE DANCING VERY
CLOSE.>>I’M GOING TO GO HOME AND NOT
BE CREATIVE.>>Stephen: I WANT TO TALK
MORE ABOUT THIS.>>IN PRIVATE.>>Stephen: I WANT TO BREAK
SOME NEWS, SOME PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW THIS, YOU ARE THE LATEST
MEMBER OF THE YANG GANG.>>YES, I AM.>>Stephen: WHAT IS THE DEAL?>>? DO YOU NEED $1,000?>>MY SON NEEDS $1,000. HE TALKED ME INTO IT.>>Stephen: YOUR SON IS A FAN.>>HUGE FAN.>>Stephen: I GET ENTHUSIASTIC
ABOUT WHO MY KIDS ARE ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT, TOO?>>AND HE CONVINCED ME WITH ALL
HIS PLANS, HEALTH CARE FOR ALL, AND TAKE IT FROM PHARMACEUTICAL
COMPANIES AND GET MORE HEALTH CARE WORKERS. HE’S GOING TO TAKE FROM THE BIG
TECH COMPANIES AND GIVE $1,000 TO EVERYONE. I WAS LIKE, “YEAH, SON, YOU WANT
THAT $1,000, I’LL GET IT FOR YOU I’M GOING TO JOIN THE YANG
GANG.”>>Stephen: I LIKE GETTING
ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT WHO MY CHILDREN ARE ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT. IT’S THEIR WORLD. WHAT HAVE WE GOT LEST OF LEFT IN
US.>>NOT MUCH.>>Stephen: WEEKS.>>DAYS! PLUS HE’S THE LAST PERSON OF
COLOR LEFT. SO I HAD —
>>Stephen: OH, MR. YANG, THAT’S RIGHT.>>MR. YANG, A LITTLE COLOR.>>Stephen: THE DEMOCRATIC
FIELD USED TO BE FAR MORE DIVERSE–
>>AT THE BEGINNING.>>Stephen: AND NOW IT’S MORE
LIKE ME.>>WHICH IS NICE, IT’S NICE.>>Stephen: NOTHING WRONG.>>I JUST LIKE BEING INCLUDED A
LITTLE BIT MORE.>>Stephen: WHO DO YOU
EXWHRAIM BLAIM? DO YOU BLAME THE DEMOCRATIC
PARTY OR THE VOTERS AND DONORS? IT’S BASED UPON DONATIONS AND
POLLING. SO WHERE DO YOU LAY THE BLAME AT
TOM PERES?>>EVERYBODY WANTS TO LAY IT ON
TOM PERES. I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO LAY THE
BLAME. I GUESS THE VOTERS, THEY FEEL
LIKE THEY’RE LOOKING FOR THE CANDIDATE THAT CAN BEAT TRUMP.>>Stephen: SO THEY WANT A
SAFE CHOICE.>>THEY WANT A SAFE CHOICE. THEY DON’T WANT ANYBODY WHO IS
GOING TO SHAKE THINGS UP AND MAYBE NOT GET THE INDEPENDENCE,
NOT GET THE MODERN REPUBLICANS SO EVERYBODY IS PLAYING IT SAFE.>>Stephen: WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF THE DISASTER DOWN IN IOWA? BECAUSE THAT WAS–
>>WHAT’S A CAUCUS ANYWAY? IS YOUR CAUCUS BIGGER THAN MINE? WHO’S GOT THE BIGGEST CAUCUS?>>Stephen: IT DEPENDS ON?>>
>>NOBODY WANTS A LITTLE CAUCUS.>>Stephen: IT DEPENDS ON HOW
CREATIVE I’M FEELING, JOHN.>>OH!( APPLAUSE )
>>CAUCUS SIZE MATTER S.>>Stephen: IT DOES, IT DOES. WE JUST LEARNED THAT.>>CAUCUS SIZE MATTER S.>>Stephen: IT DOES. YOU DON’T VOTE, YOU GET IN A
ROOM AND PEOPLE RAISE THEIR HANDS AND THEY COINCIDENT THEM.>>RIGHT, RIGHT.>>Stephen: IT’S ACTUALLY A
REALLY SIMPLE WAY TO VOTE.>>IT’S VERY OLD FASHIONED AND
ANALOG.>>Stephen: EXACTLY. IT’S LIKE AN OLD TOWN HALL
MEETING.>>BUT THEY HAD AN APP THIS
TIME, AND THAT ALL WENT HAYWIRE. AND WE DON’T KNOW. THEY’RE SOMEWHERE ELSE– NEW
HAMPSHIRE ALREADY. WE VOAM 62% OF THE VOTE IN!>>Stephen: YEAH, I MEAN DO
YOU HAVE SUGGESTION HOW TO MAKE IT EASIER?>>LET’S NOT GO TO IOWA. WHY IOWA? THEY DON’T REPRESENT AMERICA. WHERE WHY ARE WE THERE?>>Stephen: I’M SURPRISED
THERE ISN’T SOME MACHINE TO MAKE IT EASIER.>>BANKING, OUR MONEY SYSTEM
WORKS. WHY CAN’T WE DO THE SAME THING
WITH BANKING FOR VOTING. I HAVE A PIECE OF CARD, A PIECE
OF PAPER AND PAPER TRAIL AND WE ALL FEEL GOOD.>>Stephen: WHAT IF YOU GO TO
YOUR ACCOUNTANT AND THERE’S NO FREEDOM LEFT IN IT? YOU’RE OVERDRAWN.>>WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE
TECH COMPANIES AND TAKE MORE MONEY FROM THEM YOU.>>Stephen: HAVE A ONE-MAN
SHOW, WHICH WE TALKED ABOUT BEFORE BUT IT’S ON NETFLIX AND
AUDIBLE. IT’S CALLED “LATIN HISTORY FOR
MORONS.”>>WHY MORONS.>>WE’RE ALL MORONS, ESPECIALLY
ME, BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT MY LATIN HISTORY. IT WAS “LATIN HISTORY FOR
DUMMIES,” AND THE COMPANY SUED ME AND THEN IT WAS “LATIN
HISTORY FOR IDIOTS,” AND THEY SUED ME. THEY TOLD ME CEASE AND DESIST. WHAT DO WE SAY IN NEW YORK,
MORON. AND REX TILLERSON CALLED TRUMP A
MORON.>>Stephen: YOU DO AN
IMPRESSION OF YOUR SON IN THIS SHOW.>>YES.>>Stephen: DOES HE GIVE YOU
NOTES ON THE IMPRESSION?>>MY SON HATES MY IMPRESSION OF
HIM. HE SAID, “DAD, YOU MAKE IT LOOK
LIKE I HAVE ISSUES.” I SAID I’M A 55-YEAR-OLD PLAYING
A 12-YEAR-OLD.” MY DAUGHTER, TOO, HATES IT. SHE GOES, “I DON’T TALK LIKE
THAT, DAD. EXPIVMENT GO, “YES, YOU DO.”>>Stephen: YOU MAKE A
DISTINCTION BETWEEN ARTIST AND ENTERTAINER.>>YES.>>Stephen: YOU CONSIDER
YOURSELF AN ARTIST MORE THAN AN ENTERTAINER.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: WHAT IS THE
DIFFERENCE FOR YOU AND WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?>>ENTERTAINERS ARE BEAUTIFUL
PEOPLE AND THEY HELP US ESCAPE, RIGHT, AND WE NEED THAT IN THESE
DIFFICULT TIMES. BUT AN ARTIST IS POLITICAL. WE STICK OUR NECK OUT. WE TAKE RISKS. WE CALL PEOPLE ON THEIR– I’M
NOT SUPPOSED TO– ON THEIR STUFF, CALL THEM OUT. WE CALL THEM OUT.>>Stephen: NICE CATCH.>>GOOD CATCH. IF IT WAS A LITTLE LATER, I
WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CATCH MYSELF, BUT I WAS STILL AWAKE. SO, YEAH, THAT’S WHAT ARTISTS
DO. ARTISTS RISK TO HELP US GET
ACROSS THE NEXT EVOLUTIONARY HURDLE.>>Stephen: THE NEXT
EVOLUTIONARY HURDLE.>>CULTURAL EVOLUTIONARY HURDLE.>>Stephen: CULTURAL. OKAY, I I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING
TO GROW SOMETHING NEW.>>LET’S HOPE NOT. YOU DON’T WANT ANOTHER APPENDIX.>>Stephen: WE COULD USE
ANOTHER CAUCUS. WE RACED EACH OTHER FOR THAT
ONE. JOHN, LOVELY TO SEE YOU THANK
YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.>>I GAVE MY HAND LIKE TRUMP.>>Stephen: “LATIN HISTORY FOR
MORONS” IS AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX AND AUDIBLE! JOHN LEGUIZAMO, EVERYBODY! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE
AUTHORS OF “A VERY STABLE GENIUS,” PHILIP RUCKER AND CAROL
LEONNIG. STICK AROUND. THANKS, MAN.

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