Finding Queer Love From A Hospital Bed: “My Last Days” Star Travis Flores

Finding Queer Love From A Hospital Bed: “My Last Days” Star Travis Flores


If I don’t get the third transplant, I’m
gonna die. That’s just the truth. And I have to face that, but I also get to
think about my legacy then, and I hope that my legacy is one of perseverance. I
hope people look at what I’ve been through and realize that they can
get through anything. I feel like in my life I’ve always felt a little isolated
because I grew up with cystic fibrosis, so that alone really made me feel very
different than a lot of the people around me. When I started to recognize my sexuality I felt even more driven away, because I grew up in the Midwest, and I
was in a very small town, and– not to say that they weren’t accepting of people,
but I certainly didn’t feel comfortable being 100% who I was. And I think it took
moving to Los Angeles and facing death multiple times for me to say, “You know I
can’t live my life, you know, fearing who I am.” I think someone who
really helped me identify who I was, ironically, is my ex-girlfriend. Over the
course of that relationship, I started to identify the things that I wanted in my
life and the things that I didn’t. It made me realize that I wasn’t happy and
she wasn’t happy and the reason why I wasn’t happy was because I wasn’t who I should be, and that led me to my husband, who is another person who
helped me become everything that I am today and the reason why I’m here and
being so open about it is because he’s encouraged me. It was June 7th, 2016 I saw this pretty guy on Instagram, and I sent him a message. We ended up just chatting over the course of the year and it was May 27th, 2017 we went on our first date,
and I remember I had just been told that my chronic rejection of my first double
lung transplant was getting much, much worse very quickly. I was just like, you
know, what I’m not gonna shy away from any of this. I’m just gonna tell him flat
out everything on the first date, in a matter of 30 minutes and see
what he says. So we sit down, and I just say, you know, “Hi! Nice to meet you finally. You know, I’m in chronic rejection of my double lung transplant. I don’t know how
much time I have left. You know, I don’t even know if I’m gonna get a second
transplant. You know, life is great but I’m dying,” and he’s just like, “Okay, okay. Like,
this is a lot to take on,” and then I drove him home, and I was hoping, you know, we hang out a little bit more and he just pats me on the back and goes,
“Thanks man!” and gets out of the car. I was like, “What
what just happened?” September 1st I went to the ER at UCLA
with my mom. Both of my lungs had collapsed. My mom asked me to post
something on Instagram, because I hadn’t really told anyone what was happening,
because I didn’t want people to worry, but we were in a life-and-death
situation and my mom didn’t want to have the responsibility to have to tell
everyone that I died if that’s what ends up happening that night. My husband now, he comments and likes the post irritates me, because I was friends-zoned by this
person! About an hour later, I get a text from him and he says, Where are you?” At
that point I’m infuriated because I’m like, he already liked the photo he knows
where I am! So I just respond. I’m like, “You know
where I am. You liked the photo and you commented on it,” and he said, “No I’m here at the ER. Where are you?” And then every single night that I waited for that
transplant from September 1st to October 3rd he was there. And when I had the
transplant he waited with my family for 14 hours
for me to come out of surgery, and after I got out of the hospital,
after I had the second transplant, he didn’t leave, and that was new to me. I
was used to people coming into my life and then bailing, but he didn’t. He stayed. Coming out on The CW was an absolute accident. We had a plan to tell a story.
In that story it did not include me coming out on camera. That was the
first time I’ve ever said on camera that I’m gay. So that was very that was a
big moment. I just couldn’t help it. Like, when somebody that supportive of you, who loves you that much, is looking at you, you have to just say it. You have to
scream– you know they say you want to go to the mountaintop and scream that
you’re in love? That was that moment for me. Last year who we decided to get
married,because, you know, we love each other and we’ve both been through quite
a lot and we know life and how short it can be and I’m expected. Life is amazing.
I mean, he’s going through this rejection with me again. He’s gonna be right by my
side all the way up until that third transplant or until the end. You know, there’s films out there that romanticize illness, but it’s not
romantic, you know, what I go through, what I face every day and what he faces and
what my mom faces, it’s not romantic. It’s heartbreaking. It’s sad and it’s
isolating, because I have a lot of feeling about what’s happening to me,
because it’s happening to me, that I can’t share because I don’t want to
scare them, and then they have the same, because they’re going through their own
experience and and they don’t want to share that with me because they don’t
want me to worry, because I have enough to worry about I’m dying. I hope that, you know, the same way that Hollywood needs to step up and start hiring LGBTQ talent
to play those roles in those films and TV shows, they need to step up and hire
people to write and to act with people who are disabled and chronically ill,
because you’ll find that the stories are still entertaining. I mean my show when I
was on “My Last Days,” that episode had amazing ratings. It’s entertaining, but
it’s real and it’s not romantic. I hope that somehow my story inspires people to
embrace every aspect of themselves. Sometimes it’s scary to look in the
mirror and to see something that you don’t want to see, and I deal with that
every day, you know. I know that what’s happening inside my body with the
chronic organ rejection of my second transplant is killing me, but I have to
embrace that. I have to keep moving forward, and I hope that that’s what my
story does for people. I hope that, you know, it inspires people to push through
those moments when they feel like they can’t. When you’re sitting at home, and you’re
watching videos like this and you hear people like me look at the camera and
say “it gets better,” know that it’s not just me saying something. It may be hard
right now, and you may not want to continue fighting through whatever it is
that you’re going through, but I promise you, take it from someone who faces death every day with my condition, it gets better. Life is too precious and too random for things not to happen the way that
they’re meant to happen. You just have to have faith in the universe, trust the
path that you’re on and know that the phrase “it gets better” truly mean it gets better.

7 thoughts on “Finding Queer Love From A Hospital Bed: “My Last Days” Star Travis Flores

  1. This was a powerful video. It was touching on many levels. It was sad, and made a strong point. He is fighting for his life daily and he is gay too. Wow. I hope he wins his fight for life. He will impact other gays who will see this video.

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