Billy Idol “White Wedding” parody-Middle class Wrapper-Dad jokes

Hey crazy shopper, there’s no need to run. It’s 50% off but 80 was put on! Hey crazy shopper you just stood on a man! I’m in the market for a chocolate frying pan? Retail therapy hit and run! A nice day to buy some stuff? It’s a nice day for Black Friday! It’s a nice day to go insane. Hey crazy shopper, that’s a broken sieve! Hey crazy shopper, that’s half a Granny Smith! You just handed off my gran to buy a banana shotgun! Hey crazy, shopper! Dad Pun? Three week old chicken chow mein. It’s a nice day for Black Friday! Stand in a queue and complain! Hello mate yeah wonder if you can help? It says a tenner each or two for 25 quid? How does that work them? Yeah, look, I don’t want to make a fuss but I spoke to your colleague. I asked him if he could go and look and see if you’ve got “A long weight?” He just laughed at me and walked off! That was about 45 minutes ago! Have you got any tartan paint? Tartan paint? No, all right no worries.

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